July 26, 2014

If you check my blog every day…hi. I like you. ♥

July 26, 2014
♡

July 26, 2014

Today is so blah. I hate living in one of the tourist hot spots of the south. Beach full of skinny girls in bikinis, I feel huge and badly dressed and town is insanely busy. I have my period, yet another blocked milk duct and a headache. I’ve eaten far too much as a result and just really want to not exist for a day or two.

July 26, 2014
Reminder

If you want chocolate, get some. Otherwise you will eat 3 ice lollies, a packet of biscuits, 2 cupcakes and a mug of hot chocolate to try and satisfy the craving, and then eat chocolate anyway.

July 26, 2014
"

1. Lay on the floor of your shower until you can breathe again. Water will always love to love your skin.

2. Start writing with the intention of filling up one page. Write until your pen stops working.

3. Reread a book that once made you cry. Learn something new on every page. Notice how different chapter make you sad. Notice how the book didn’t change and grow; you did.

4. Sleep with your windows open. You can hear both the rain and boys drunkenly singing Frank Sinatra on their deck. Both are equally good.

5. Don’t forget that honey will always taste sweet, but the best way to eat it is off your fingers, laughing.

6. Remember that, sometimes, getting out of bed is enough.

"

—  For unhappy girls who like sitting in the sun (via bl-ossomed)

(Source: ttwentysix, via pleasestayanotherday)

July 26, 2014

Melt butter and golden syrup in microwave.
Stir in oats.
Eat.

July 26, 2014

Anonymous said: I am breast feeding but my left breast is hard and painful today what should I do?

Hi anon,

It sounds like a blocked duct, which can be very sore. :(

You need to feed your baby as often as possible - offer the sore side at every feed. (So when you feed on the right, finish up by offering the left when baby unlatches.) This will give baby more opportunity to clear the blockage.

You can also apply a warm, wet compress (such as a face cloth) to the sore spot right before you feed to open up the ducts so the milk can flow more easily. After feeding you can then use a cold compress to reduce any inflammation.

You might want to hop in a hot shower and hand express, if you try this then make sure you massage the breast from above the hard spot down towards your nipple, you can also do this before and during feeding if you can feed with one hand. :)

If your breast becomes red, you get a fever, or you start to feel unwell, you will probably have mastitis. In this case, carry on with all of the above but also contact your GP for antibiotics.

Look after yourself, anon, spend the day in bed with baby if you can, and drink extra fluids. Xx

July 26, 2014

I’m one of those really embarrassing mums who refuses to buy something when I can make it myself… luckily Alfie isn’t old enough to care yet, and the homemade shape sorter is a big hit. :)

July 26, 2014
Things no one cares about:

Your diet.
Your dress size.
Your calorie intake.
The width of your hips.
Whether or not your thighs touch.

July 25, 2014

My life just got so much more difficult…

July 25, 2014

I’d rather be a stone overweight and be a focused, attentive, patient and loving Mother who cuddles up with a mug of hot chocolate in the winter, and shares an ice cream on the beach in summer, than a “healthy weight” and be a number obsessed, cold, distant, snappy and impatient Mother who can’t even sit down at the table to share a family meal.

My child does not care that my hips are “too wide” and that the tops of my arms wobble when I wave. He doesn’t care that my tummy is soft or that my thighs touch. All he wants is someone warm to cuddle him when he’s tired or sad, and someone to play with him when he’s bored or happy.

July 24, 2014

Cold spaghetti is just so much fun according to Alfie!

July 24, 2014

When I say I don’t want to go back to work, I don’t mean it like you mean it after a long holiday. When I say I don’t want to go back to work, I mean just the thought of leaving Alfie with other people for 9 hours a day makes me feel physically sick from the anxiety in my stomach and chest. Even when someone casually asks “when are you back at work then?” I have to fight to not show that I’m on the verge of tears just from their innocent comment.

I always thought Alfie would somehow feel bigger by 9 months, and that I would be ready to pick up my career where I left it. However, somewhere along the line I realised I would rather sit on my living room floor for those 9 hours each day and watch my son repeatedly try to climb the TV unit. I realised I would rather change the 3 nappies, sit through the hour long food fight that is lunch, and shout “don’t touch that!” While removing him from the socket covers / TV / book case 20 times in a row. I realised that my son is infinitely more important to me than the pittance I bring home, than my nice car, or my trips to Costa.

I realised that something about showing other parents how to look after their children, while mine is away from me, being looked after by people who just see him like any other baby feels incredibly wrong.

I realised that I might miss his first steps, or the first time he says a real word, or that I won’t be there to comfort him on the way if he has to go to accident and emergency. I realised that no one else understands that he can use sign language in his own bizarre way, or that he likes to have his bottom tapped while he falls asleep, or that blueberries are his favourite and that he is obsessed with ducks. And his paintbrush. No one else “gets” him like me, and no one else can look after him as well as I can.

But he’s starting nursery in 6 weeks, and I’ll return to work in 9. The enhanced maternity rate I was so thankful to receive now feels like nothing more than blackmail - I’m legally obliged to return to work for at least 12 weeks, or pay it back which is frankly impossible.

And then there’s the fact that while in theory we would survive on one wage, in reality cars go wrong, and bills go up, and teeth need seeing to, and the fridge blows up, and we would then be in ever increasing debt that would never be paid off.

So I have to return to work. I have to do the opposite of what every maternal instinct is screaming at me to do. I have to leave my infant son in other people’s care while I go and earn barely enough money to cover the childcare costs.

July 24, 2014

Anonymous said: I don't know if you're still looking for opinions re: Alfie's pictures, but I think 5 is the best :) I like 1 as well - I think that those two show his happy personality while the others are more "generically" cute. Of course they're all wonderful <3

Aaw thanks anon! I decided to enter number 5 In the end. :) It’s the background on my phone and definitely one of my favourites!

July 24, 2014
Trying to teach Alfie to clap...
Alfie: signs "Daddy"
Alfie: signs "more"
Alfie: pushes my hands together to make them clap.
Alfie: Holds hands together and grins.
Alfie: waves.
Alfie: Does not clap.
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