August 28, 2014

fuck no.

August 28, 2014

From the state Alfie was in when I collected him from his hour at nursery, he had been crying hysterically for most of the time. The assistant claims he was “a bit teary after about 20 minutes.”
He hiccuped all the way home. He only hiccups after getting distraught. This is why I don’t like nurseries, their idea of a bit teary rarely fits in with the parent’s idea of a bit teary.

I have no option but to send him at this point, I can’t even leave work until Christmas, and even if I did quit, I don’t know how we’d survive on one wage.

August 28, 2014

Something about the way the air smells this morning has got me stuck in a time when I was really struggling with ED. I woke up disorientated, thinking I was in the flat, expecting to get out of bed and stand on the cold tiled bathroom floor to weigh myself. I could taste the weight watchers yogurt and 10 grapes that would be my breakfast, smell the black coffee, feel my shaking hands as I stirred half a sugar into the scalding hot drink.

I was cold. The circulation in my hands and feet nearly nonexistent. I remembered having to wear two pairs of socks to work, gloves in September, a thick cardigan wrapped around my body in team meetings while everyone else was still in thin sweaters and leggings.

As I type this now I remember the dark, black, pressure in my head pushing down on my brain, making me snappy and detached. I needed to count. Count the calories in my coffee, the calories in the lunch I wouldn’t eat, count the calories in the cake the person next to me was eating, the miles I could run, the miles I could walk, the hours until I could fall into bed and continue counting until I eventually drifted into a restless sleep filled with food and distortion.

Everything about that time revolved around food and weight. I can’t remember what I got for my birthday that year, except that I Binged on cake. I can’t remember nights out, except that I deliberately drank until I threw up. I don’t remember time with my husband, except that every single day out was designed by me to avoid eating and to get in as much walking as possible. I remember the sting of self inflicted cuts under the bracelets on my wrist, one wound for every pound left to lose.

I remember feeling trapped and alone and angry. I remember getting a thrill from family’s concerned questions about what I had eaten, what I weighed, where I had disappeared to for 24 hours with my phone switched off. I remember acting like a young teenager at the age of 25. I should have been building my career, my marriage, my friendships, my skills and hobbies. Instead I was existing purely for the bathroom scales, lost in the darkness in my head and trying to push away the people who cared about me.

August 27, 2014
http://anabites.tumblr.com/post/95920450226/do-countries-outside-of-europe-have-lidl-its

anabites:

anabites:

Do countries outside of Europe have lidl?

It’s like a basic supermarket that undercuts the “big 4” (tesco, asda, Morrisons and sainsburys) it does this by not having beautifully stacked shelves, but crates of food still in its warehouse packaging, and only employing a handful of staff who have…

Yes, it’s exactly the same as Aldi!!

Look - beyond- all - imperfection

STAHP IT OMG. I genuinely had a moment of “Oooh really?!” There.

August 27, 2014
http://anabites.tumblr.com/post/95920450226/do-countries-outside-of-europe-have-lidl-its

anabites:

Do countries outside of Europe have lidl?

It’s like a basic supermarket that undercuts the “big 4” (tesco, asda, Morrisons and sainsburys) it does this by not having beautifully stacked shelves, but crates of food still in its warehouse packaging, and only employing a handful of staff who have…

Yes, it’s exactly the same as Aldi!!

August 27, 2014
luna—-belle:

 Susanna April

luna—-belle:

Susanna April

August 27, 2014

simply-divine-creation:

Katie Purnell Photography

August 27, 2014

Dammit I want another baby.

Alfie is too young. Alfie is too young. Alfie is too young. Alfie is too young.

I need to get some pregnancy / newborn kicks from somewhere fast…

August 27, 2014

Do countries outside of Europe have lidl?

It’s like a basic supermarket that undercuts the “big 4” (tesco, asda, Morrisons and sainsburys) it does this by not having beautifully stacked shelves, but crates of food still in its warehouse packaging, and only employing a handful of staff who have to scan a certain number of items an hour in order to keep the two tills they have open moving at the speed of light. It’s pretty depressing, but you save like a third on your groceries, and the food is really good quality so everyone is happy to put up with the randomness…

August 27, 2014
Mini-challenge

unfuckyourhabitat:

Look around. Find five things that aren’t where they belong. Put them away. Resume dicking around on the internet.

(via elizabeth--avenged)

August 26, 2014

britain-land-of-hope-and-glory:

Some Very British Problems (x

(via goodgirlsneverswallow)

August 26, 2014

(Source: acidocasualidad, via elizabeth--avenged)

August 26, 2014

Everyone knows that Alfie and Dino are best friends, but there was once a time when they hadn’t even met…

Dino lived in a shop with lots of other toys. There were blue stripy cats that squeaked when children squeezed their tummies, pretty ragdoll princesses with long hair for brushing, toys that rattled, and wiggled, and even toys that could talk. But there was only one Dino. The lady who owned the shop had chosen just one to see if he would sell quickly. She placed him in the window, and he watched all sorts of people walk past. Days turned in to weeks and no one even asked to look at Dino.

One day, Alfie and mummy were out for a walk with Grandma. There were lots of really boring shops that Grandma wanted to look in. Alfie started to cry and whine because he hated being in his buggy. Mummy wouldn’t take him out though, she said there was nowhere for little boys to play here. They walked a little way to a shop window while they waited for Grandma. Alfie saw a dinosaur in the window and waved to it.

Inside the shop Mummy showed Alfie a stripy cat that squeaked. Alfie threw it on the floor. He didn’t like cats. Mummy showed him a cuddly rabbit. He chewed it’s ear, but it didn’t taste right so he gave it back to Mummy. Then she showed him the dinosaur from the window. Alfie smiled and reached out for it.

Mummy got distracted talking to grandma, but Alfie didn’t mind. He and Dino played together for a little while, they really liked each other. Eventually Mummy said it was time to go, and took Dino away. Alfie began to cry and reached out for Dino again. “Do you really like it that much?” Asked Mummy. She looked at the label in dino’s ear and then looked sadly at Alfie. “He costs too many pennies, he has to stay here my love.” Alfie cried some more, and so did Dino. Dino thought he had found a new home but now he was going back to the window!

"You can’t say no to that face" said grandma, taking Dino off mummy and giving him back to Alfie. She paid the shopkeeper and Alfie and Dino were allowed to stay together. Every day since then they have done everything together!

August 25, 2014

It was a rainy bank holiday so Mummy and Daddy said they were having a day at home. Mummy got the big squashy duvet downstairs, and they all cuddled up on the sofa and watched films for the whole day. It was the best day ever.

August 25, 2014

Someone needs to have a word with the boy about the speed he is growing at.

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