April 20, 2014
TW

Family meals are some of the most stressful occasions of my year.

My parents, my sister and her boyfriend, and my Aunt, Uncle and cousin all sat round a table with serving dishes. How much should I take?
1 potato (Is that all you’re having, love? Take 2… Here, this one is only small.)
Large scoops of the boiled carrots and broccoli, but only one slice of squash because the goose fat is glistening on it. (I only did squash because you like it…)
Pace myself, eat slowly, don’t have second helpings.

Then pudding. I want cake and I want trifle, can’t ask for both, greedy. Luckily my cousin wants both too, its acceptable now. I ask Mum quietly if I can serve myself. (If you must.) Slither of cake, scoop of trifle. (Have you actually got any cake in there? Are you ok? You haven’t eaten much…)

Then they start on Alfie. I gave him a slice of carrot and they all start asking if he can have a potato, stuffing, gravy, cake, custard… Nonononono. Try to escape to change his nappy, M whisks him out of my hands (You sit there and eat your cake darling, try and relax.) The cake is sat in front of me, I could have a second helping, everyone saw how small my slice was… But I ate 150g of easter egg for breakfast and I’ve been given a 250g bunny to take home and I am fat. But the cake is there… Take a piece. Wish I was dead. Spend an hour making awkward small talk while feeling the fat expanding on my chin, hips, thighs. Alfie cries, excuse to go home. Leave abruptly, let them speculate whether I’m “eating right” or not. Come home, sleep, cry, eat the bunny, slice, slice, slice my fat thighs, cry again, want this day to end.

April 20, 2014

The Easter bunny came with a present for Alfie in the night!

Dont reblog!

April 20, 2014

Its 4am on Easter Sunday.
Where the fuck is my chocolate?

April 19, 2014

For 41 weeks I slept with my hands cradling my expanding tummy, holding my Gummy bear close.

For 6 weeks I dozed with a hand on my newborn’s tummy as he lay next to my bed in a basket.

For 18 weeks I tiptoed past him as he slept at the foot of my bed in his cot, kissed his head and climbed into bed myself. The sound of his breathing acting as a reassuring lullaby while I drifted to sleep.

And tonight we put him in his cot in his own room for the first time. He is just a wall away but it feels as though he is in a different house. My tiny baby is growing too fast.

April 19, 2014

I thought Alfie was blowing raspberries…
…I was oh so wrong.

7:51pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZMuCPx1DWVQIB
  
Filed under: Holy nappy batman 
April 19, 2014

(via glitterygothmummy)

April 19, 2014

Anonymous asked: Hey. Your one of the most strong inspiring people I've ever come across. The problem is we don't see ourselves the way others see us. In alfies eyes your god. Perfection. Give your years to him not to the ed.... I know you can. Keep strong ok? Xxxx

Thank you anon

April 19, 2014

Anonymous asked: I take cocaine

Not sure how to answer this one… Do you feel you are addicted? Do you want to stop?

99% sure you are aware of the risks of illegal drug use.

April 19, 2014

Anonymous asked: We also call it "mustard seed" here, the absolute worst for allergies when it's blooming!! And can I just brag that canola is a 'special' breed of rapeseed originally created in my lovely country of Canada!

Brag away dear anonny!

April 19, 2014

April 19, 2014

Alfie’s Nanny (M’s Mum) has a rather good swing at her house!

Don’t reblog!

April 19, 2014
Alfie is sleeping in his own room tonight.
*cries*

Alfie is sleeping in his own room tonight.
*cries*

April 19, 2014

Persepine - the yellow field is Oil seed rape, also known as Rapeseed or just “rape”.

I believe in the US you call it Canola?

We grow loads of it in the UK. You cut it when it dies and has turned black, it absolutely stinks when it is dead, and while its flowering it causes violent hayfever type allergies - but.l it looks pretty!

3:45pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZMuCPx1DVG98f
  
Filed under: persepine 
April 19, 2014

Stupidfatuglygreedybitchshouldjustdie

April 18, 2014

FML why can’t I just eat appropriately

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