heightens each sensation
Darkness stirs and wakes imagination
Silently the senses abandon their defences …
Slowly, gently night unfurls its splendour
Grasp it, sense it - tremulous and tender
Turn your face away
from the garish light of day,
turn your thoughts away
from cold, unfeeling light -
and listen to the music of the night …
Close your eyes and surrender to your
Purge your thoughts of the life
you knew before!
Close your eyes,
let your spirit start to soar!
And you’ll live
as you’ve never lived before …
“..I’m selfish.. impatient and a little insecure… I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle..but if you can’t handle me at my worst..then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.”—(via not-drowning-in-yesterday)
I’m not writing this to sound insensitive or callous, but I have noticed that many people need a handy-dandy guide of “Things You Should and Should Not Ask Someone Who Has Lost a Baby (to miscarriage, still-birth, abortion, or SIDS).”
…when people see me they except me to be someone totally different then I actually am. They think I just listen to pop music, they think my favorite color is pink, they think I’m a stereotypical spoiled brat that’s actually pretty shallow…
They think I’m super shy and one of the luckiest people…
Sometimes I get upset thinking that I'm not the person I wanted to be... but then I realize that maybe I was meant to be so much more than I ever thought. It's just a matter of surviving the now and living to see what I'm meant to become.
Saying "oh i've already ruined my good eating today i'll just eat crap" is like saying "oh i dropped my phone on the floor i'll just smash it till it breaks." It's silly and doesn't make much sense. Sense, however has little to do with our choices regarding eating.
I came home, went straight to my room,
sat on the edge of my bed,
kicked off my shoes,
unhooked my bra,
and I had myself a good cry.
I’m telling you,
I cried until my nose was running all over
the silk blouse I got on sale.
I cried until my ears were hot.
I cried until my head was hurting so bad
that I could hardly see the pile of
soiled tissues lying on the floor at my feet.
I want you to understand,
I had myself a really good cry yesterday.
Yesterday, I cried,
for all the days that I was too busy,
or too tired,
or too mad to cry.
I cried for all the days, and all the ways,
and all the times I had dishonored,
disconnected my Self from myself,
only to have it reflected back to me
in the ways others did to me
the same things I had already done to myself.
I cried for all the things I had given,
only to have them stolen;
for all the things I had asked for that
had yet to show up;
for all the things I had accomplished,
only to give them away,
to people in circumstances,
which left me feeling empty,
and battered and plain old used.
I cried because there really does
come a time when the only thing left
for you to do is cry.
Yesterday, I cried.
I cried because little boys get
left by their daddies;
and little girls get forgotten by their mommies;
and daddies don’t know what to do, so they leave;
and mommies get left, so they get mad.
I cried because I had a little boy,
and because I was a little girl,
and because I was a mommy
who didn’t know what to do,
and because I wanted my daddy to be there
for me so badly until I ached.
Yesterday, I cried.
I cried because I hurt.
I cried because I was hurt.
I cried because hurt has no place to go
except deeper into the pain that
caused it in the first place,
and when it gets there,
the hurt wakes you up.
I cried because it was too late.
I cried because it was time.
I cried because my soul knew that I didn’t know
that my soul knew everything I needed to know.
I cried a soulful cry yesterday,
and it felt so good.
It felt so very, very bad.
In the midst of my crying,
I felt my freedom coming,
I cried with an agenda.
“Hey, hey, girl! Are you ready for today?
You got your shield and sword?
Cuz its time to play the games
You are beautiful
Even though your not for sure
Don’t let him pull you by the scar
You’re gonna get your feelings hurt”—
“I’m not someone who is going to try and “fix” you, I don’t think that’s helpful for anybody. I’m just here for you when you’ve had enough and want to let off steam. I’m here to support you in whatever role you need as a person. How can you expect to help yourself if you won’t let anybody else help you?”—My line manager ;)