October 20, 2014
Day one - 7.40am

Breakfast was half an hour ago. (2 toast and spread, small tin of mushrooms, and two slices of ham.) And the false hunger has already set in. I’m sure it’s false as I only “want” the fruit bread Alfie is having, not anything else. I feel a bit fidgety because I want to eat something sweet, but otherwise fine.

I had to take ibuprofen for a bad back at 4am so that will hold off the headache I’m expecting to arrive at some point…

October 20, 2014

Anonymous said: Please be careful. It really is about balance and not cutting b/c you end up feeling really deprived and then binge. I definitely struggle with the sugar and in the past I have tried to cut it out but it never works and eventually ends in feeling massively deprived and bingeing. It is a form of restricting. It's ok to have sugary snacks and make it a goal to have some non-sugary snacks or meals as well. I myself am working on it everyday.

I’m aware of how my disorder works, but thank you for the concern.

I explained already that I can’t just have a little bit at the moment, I crave sugar all day non stop. I need to rule out physical addition at this point, as my binges when they occur are triggered by eating massive amounts of sugar due to cravings, which then triggers guilt and self hatred. If I wasn’t addicted to sugar, I’d be less likely to binge because I wouldn’t be craving it.

Like I said, I’ve been pretty much clear for 2 years, and people are aware of what I’m doing. If I end up cracking and bingeing then that’s fine, it’s not a big deal to me anymore. I just don’t want to feel ill all the time.

October 19, 2014

What happened to my newborn?!?!?!?!?!

Don’t reblog

October 19, 2014

Anonymous said: In a really genuine way what are you going to eat if you cut out sugar? It seems to be in everything x

I don’t think it’s possible to completely irradicate it, we actually need some sugar to function. But I guess my aim is to initially cut out processed forms of sugar for the detox, to try and break the addiction and eventually be able to eat it appropriately.

Tomorrow I’m planning to have mushrooms on toast for breakfast, crackers and cheese spread with tomato for snack, ham and cheese sandwich and crisps for lunch, homemade pasta bake for dinner, and baked apple for another snack. I’ll also have yogurt, oatcakes, veggies, boiled egg etc if I’m hungry in between. I’m absolutely not looking to restrict my calories in any way so I’ll be eating to hunger.

October 19, 2014
Sugar detox…

Ok so lately I’ve been feeling dreadful… heartburn, nausea, tiredness, bad skin, palpitations, headache. Etc. My sugar consumption has also been sky high so I’m sure that’s the cause. On top of this I have recently found out that my Mother has a heart condition related to her obesity, and she will almost certainly need a pacemaker fitted in the next 12 months,and apparently this condition is heredetory. My Dad has also been diagnosed with diabetes, so its all a bit close to home and real. We want to have another baby next year, and I’m currently overweight so that wouldn’t be ideal for pregnancy…

Basically I need to change my diet and lifestyle. I’ve tried the softly softly approach and it doesn’t work, if I allow myself some chocolate, I eat all the chocolate.

So I’ve been researching sugar addiction and I’m 99.9% sure that’s the issue. Seriously, I have jam on toast for breakfast, a cereal bar for snack, sweets mid afternoon, chocolate or cake / biscuits in the evening, sugar in my coffee… its endless, no wonder I feel hungover all of the time.

So tomorrow I’m starting a sugar detox and I’m going to share my progress. I cba to set up a new tumblr for it so it’s going to be on here, I don’t think many people read my updates anymore anyway so I’m not too worried about triggering people. However, if this would be an issue for you, please unfollow me.

The detox goes as follows:
Day 1: cut out most obvious sources of sugar. For me, this will be jam, chocolate, cereal bars, chocolate mousse, biscuits, cake, and sweets.

Day 2: as above

Day 3: As above, plus swap white carbohydrates for brown. (Bread, pasta, and rice.)

Day 4: ” “

Day 5: Evaluate sugar consumed in fruit - especially dried and tinned. Fresh is best. Cut out juices too.

I will update daily with how I’m feeling, and on day 7 I will evaluate everything and hopefully continue with a more appropriate sugar intake.

I’m expecting to feel CRAP for the first three days, with day 3 or 4 being the worst. I’m hoping that I will then feel better each day and finally have an energy surge on day 6/7.

I’m aware that with my history this would worry a lot of my followers, but you just all need to trust me. I’ve been in remission from my eating disorder for nearly two years, bar some small lapses, and even then I’ve veered towards binge eating over restriction so it’s unlikely I’m going to get into an unhealthy cycle here. M is aware of my plans, as is my therapist so I’ve got that covered too.

So, with that in mind, support, and ideas for low sugar alternatives to things would be appreciated. :)

October 19, 2014

Oh Iggle Piggle, you retrabate.

October 19, 2014
Tips for new parents.
"Eat well and rest.": Eat anything to hand. Chocolate or a handful of dry cereal is preferable to fainting in the middle of the supermarket because you forgot to eat your super food pasta salad.
"Avoid caffeine.": HAVE ALL THE CAFFEINE. In fact - don't even leave the house until you've had the biggest cup of coffee available. Even if you're breastfeeding, one cup will make you human and probably won't make your child jittery.
"Baby proof everything which might cause injury to your child.": put some cushions around your fireplace, and keep wires out of the way if possible. Everything else is just a challenge for your newly mobile baby to break / dismantle / eat.
"TV isn't good for children under the age of two.": lettiing the children watch TV is an excellent way of getting dinner prepared without someone being injured, or the food burnt.
"You are a dreadful parent if you don't do everything by the book.": take the book and throw it out of the window. Is your child fed, clothed, fairly clean, and cuddled? If yes then you are an excellent parent. Reward yourself with chocolate and coffee.
October 16, 2014
The news:

"If Ebola doesn’t kill you, terrorists will. If you manage to avoid that then you will definitely die of obesity, poverty, cancer, or smoking, or you will be murdered."

October 12, 2014

Alfie spam
Please don’t reblog

October 12, 2014
Breastfeeding question!


I’m gonna be breastfeeding and expressing once bf has been established, then using a combination of bottles and breast.
The baby is 4 days old and feeding brilliantly from both sides, but I’m still swollen and sore on the one side.
My question is: if I express to make the pain go away, will it affect my supply? I’m currently leaking through breast pads on that side, so I don’t know if that will make it worse or better :/


Ok, so the best thing to do is express just for comfort… take off enough to ease the pressure and you’ll be just fine. If you’re only on day four then your milk is just coming in, and may well get worse in the next day or two regardless of expressing etc. You can use warm compresses to help the milk flow, and ease the pain too. Xx

October 12, 2014
I get a gold star for trying, right?! I think we will have to buy in Alfie’s birthday cake after all…

I get a gold star for trying, right?! I think we will have to buy in Alfie’s birthday cake after all…

October 11, 2014
Things that make Alfie laugh until he falls over:

An adult laying on the floor.

An adult crawling towards him.

Smelling his feet.

Doing an impression of the “nononono” cat.

Someone sneezing.

Alfie sneezing.

*I think my child is insane.*

October 9, 2014


College students only have 2 levels of stress:

1) I don’t give a fuck


There is no in between.

This also accurately sums up my working life….

(via sigh-ness)

October 8, 2014

I want another baby. Like now. M says we’ll talk about it in February which I know is logical. But try telling that to my body. dammit. Being back at work is not helping either. I was supporting the well baby clinic today and omg so many tiny ones all curled up and smelling like newborn. My uterus is making me a mad woman.

October 8, 2014

(via lookingforthemoon)

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